A ritual in Stieng wedding custom of “repaying duty” Stieng boys and girls get to know each other at community events such as festivals and weddings. When they decide to get married, they inform their families and the boy’s family sends two matchmakers to the girl’s house to make a proposal. Patriarch Dieu Do said, “The boy’s family prepares proposal presents according to Stieng tradition. These must include a silver bracelet and necklace.” Patriarch Dieu Do said in the past the presents the girl’s family asked for were equivalent to what the girl’s father gave to marry her mother. The girl’s father tells the matchmaker the required number of buffalos, cows, pigs, and vases of wine. Customarily, if the bridegroom’s family is able to provide all the requested presents, he could take the girl to his house or the couple could live on their own house. Otherwise, the bridegroom had to live with the bride’s family until he could give them all of the presents. That’s the “repaying duty”. The presents must include a javelin, a symbol of power. Dieu Thi Kia said, “The presents must include a javelin, a popular item at any festival of the Stieng, such as the buffalo sacrifice festival. The wedding presents must include a javelin to ensure a good marriage.” In the past, the wedding ceremony could be held one or two years after the proposal ceremony. During that time, the couple didn’t live together but worked together in the field and helped each… [Read full story]
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